Stopping smoking exactly one year ago was not a choice, after becoming ill I was physically unable to go and get cigarettes, for approximately a month I could not walk and thankfully no one would agree to get me some!
Interestingly I do not recall having the same, all consuming, body and soul intense need for a cigarette at that time, perhaps being so ill distracted me, my whole focus was on recovery, to regain the ability to walk, talk, and function on a basic level.
I have had during the year urges which have pushed me almost to mania, times where I have literally thrown a plate in my anger, where I have screamed and shouted at anyone who dared to look at me, all due to those little cancer sticks, their power, their command over a person is unparalleled, they haunt you, they beckon you, they whisper in your ear telling you that you need them. Being a smoker is akin to being in an abusive, controlling relationship, one which you know in the long term will harm you in a perhaps fatal way, yet you are so under their control that you stay with them, through fear of leaving, through addiction to them, to being dependant on them, even when they will take all of your money, even when you have times where to satisfy your need you will go through the dustbin searching for one, turn your home upside down, seek out pennies in order to give them what they want… power.
If you are thinking about stopping smoking, I know how difficult, how immense the withdrawal symptoms are. It is one of the hardest things I have had to do, and a year on I am still dependant on the Nicorette lozenges, but I believe it is the placebo affect which keeps me hooked on those.
So I am not going to tell you to stop now, a person needs to have a true and strong desire, a reason, a reason that will not go away. Having a reason for stopping smoking such as a wedding, becoming pregnant, holidays and more are usually not strong enough, because as soon as the reason has ended ( you have had the child, are married etc) you need to find another reason.
Instead I would like to tell you what you will gain:
Better skin
increased power to breath
You will be less stressed
You will not stink ( don’t kid yourself… you do stink, even if you cant smell it on yourself)
Your clothes will not stink
You wont need to stand outside in the rain, cold, hail or snow
There is no “hiding”
The feeling of constantly being on edge before going anywhere ( a flight, restaurant, party etc ) will disappear.
You and everyone around you ( once you stop the snarling) will be happier.
YOU WILL SAVE LOADS OF MONEY
There are so many more reasons. I think I have listed the main ones.
Its a true battle, but think back to when and where you were when you first became an addict, I can be pretty certain that it was not a good, healthy, happy time in your life.
An older person may have started at a time where “everyone” smoked, where the cowboy on the horse with a cigarette advert, promised that if you would smoke you to would become this sexual, strong, cowboy type of person, but for anyone who has started in the past 23/30 years this would not be the case.
Smoking is no longer “cool”. sadly hard drugs have now taken the place of the cool factor of cigarette’s, but I do believe on the whole most children and teenagers now know that smoking is not ok.
Before you stop, sit down, picture yourself as I was, so sure that you would never become ill, it will never happen to me… paint that picture in your mind, now change the picture, an ambulance, racing through the street, your almost unconscious, you can not move, you can not talk, your mouth is open but no words are formed, you need to move your leg but try as you may no movement happens. You may be blessed and recover, but the next time ( and there will be a next time) you may not. Do you really want to live your life in a wheelchair, with lung cancer, with illness.
We are all going to die eventually ( hopefully at a good old age of 120), but why hasten your end?
Sounds brutal? its the reality.
Lots of love
Sara
The Musings of Sara 
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